The cost

Tiny hipbones sharp like the edge of a table but the jeans are too snug. there’s nothing delicate about this anymore and its not enough because it never will be and the jeans will always be too tight because any number above 0 is suffocating and don’t you want to be like her? Shrinking and shrinking until she folds into the air and disappears? And the jeans are still too tight. And it’s hard to revel because lights are too bright and friends are too loud and the ceiling keeps pulling you back in and it’s not about wanting to go away really, you’re just doing what you’re told. Becoming Smaller and smaller and smaller until the world turns and forgets about you. 

They don’t tell you about the cost of thinness, the cost of being a Cool Girl, because the expense is YOU folding yourself into the smallest corner of the room and tucking away your organs and never bleeding out loud and making sure the only things they ever see are your smile and your bones.